Strengthening the Family Bond
Posted by Tisha Tolar on September 21, 2009
One thing us EMB’s know is that working for yourself takes up a lot of your time and energy. This is especially true during the first years of establishing a business of your own. Spending quality time with your spouse is difficult enough – add kids to the mix and you are creating a recipe for ‘Strained Marriage’.
Our first post from new contributor, Juanita Ritter, tackles this topic with some helpful hits to keep a marriage and support system strong.
I had to come up with a topic for my first article. It only took me a minute to decide to do one about relationships, as my nine year wedding anniversary just passed this week. It certainly hasn’t been easy but we learned that taking time to be thoughtful, keeping the lines of communication open, and paying attention to your relationship instead of taking it for granted means a lot. As I reflect back, we’ve had some high highs and some low low’s but we have learned a lot, grown up into for sure adults and still managed to keep our sanity (for the most part) and our love strong.
In these days and times, when over half of the United States marriages end in divorce, it is more important than ever to not let life take over and allow the health of your marriage fall to the wayside. I have found that if your marriage is suffering, every other thing in your life is bound to suffer at some point. Oftentimes, we get caught up in what is life, work, schedules, appointments, children, extended family. With all of these things going on, it is easy to slip unknowingly into a routine that does not leave any time for you and your spouse to maintain a fresh, loving, caring and sharing relationship. You don’t ever want to get to the point where you feel like your wife or husband is merely a roommate that helps pay the bills. This is especially easy to do when you have totally different work schedules and you barely see each other. This is the case with my husband and I as sometimes our main means of communication is through e-mail and text messages.
When you are starting down any new path, especially one that involves starting your own company, time is not always on your side. Time management needs to be a priority, not only for work purposes, but for partner purposes as well. It is imperative that you both take time out to do things together, even if business is not one of those things.
There are some easy things you can do to help your spouse feel loved, special, and let them know they are always on your mind:
Alone Time Is Crucial
When you have children, achieving alone time can be difficult. Ask friends and family who are in the same boat as you to exchange sitter services once a week. It can seem impossible to find time to do things not related to work or your kids, but your marriage is also a work in progress. Fit the time into your schedule to make things better at least once a week, if not once a day.
You Can Date on a Budget
If money is an issue, there certainly are ways to go out on a cheap date (Note: this phrase takes on a different meaning when you’re married, When you’re married, a cheap date can easily be viewed as something good. When you’re single . . . . not so much). A few low cost ideas could entail a shared appetizer and drinks at your favorite restaurant; a movie night; or even staying at home making your favorite dinner together or walk in the park that can provide ample opportunity to just relax and talk. You can schedule a date night into your family budget and take some time to explore the free attractions you can find right around your own neighborhood.
Little Things Are Big
Another thing I have learned is that little things mean a lot. You will be surprised to find out how much it will mean to your significant other to just stop and greet them with a kiss when they walk in the door or a romantic e-mail that hints to something special you have planned to do for them when you do get your alone time, or a message left on their cell hoping they are having a good week. When you work for yourself, it can be a very difficult adjustment period – leaving an office environment to work on your own. Having partner support and honest face-to-face conversation can be just as important to a work at home spouse as a cold beer and an Lazyboy to someone who just put in 9 hours at an office.
Plan A Getaway
Planning a getaway for just you and your spouse can be a great way to reconnect. But planning a mini-break can prove challenging. The key is to plan ahead. Make arrangements for kids and start putting money away early so there is less of a financial burden. A local travel agent may be able to coordinate a great trip if you are really in need of upgrading your relationship. Getting away from work, kids, and other distractions might be needed from time to time to help you focus on each other.
Practice Makes Perfect
No marriage is perfect, I think we can all agree to that but if you are really committed to yours and don’t want to be in that percentage of failed marriages the best place to start is to be aware that you are not in this alone. You are in a partnership and just like anything else that is important to you, with teamwork, commitment, love and respect for each other your marriage can’t help but to be a success. Entrepreneurial minds may tend to have tunnel vision on career success so it is essential to learn early on that your success is likely not worth as much if you don’t have those you love to share it with.
Writer’s Note: I would like to thank the ladies of Empowering Mom Blog. I admire them all so much for “stepping out on faith” and pursuing their dreams of being successful entrepreneurs in spite of the challenges we face as women, wives and mothers that some may deem to serve as handicaps to being a successful business owner. Thanks guys for proving them wrong, I hope to very soon follow in your footsteps.
4396710 said,
I really find this to be true. Now both spouse/parents are working from home; one for a personal home business, one for an employer. There is a lot of truth to the statements about “scheduling time with your spouse.” Otherwise, everything just goes and one day you wonder who you’re living with.
Thanks for your time writing this thoughtful article.
<3, Lee
PrimpChic said,
Beautiful advice! Everyone knows that moms ARE DEFINITELY the strength that ties the family bond!
You writing this very on-point article is a testament to your strength and wisdom where relationships are concerned. Great job.
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