US Moms Guiltier than Moms in France

Posted by Debbie Dragon on March 28, 2009

Kathy Murdock over at AllBusiness.com is reading Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety by

Perfect Madness by Judith Warner

Judith Warner. She shared some of her thoughts on what she’s read so far on her blog. I’m so interested in the book that now I’m going to have to pick up a copy I think.

Apparently, the author of the book is a mother who used to live in France, and she discusses some of the differences between US moms and France moms as far as guilt goes. I know I’ve experienced my fair share of guilt during my six years as a mother, and I know the other Empowering Mom bloggers have as well. We feel guilty even though we work from home and spend far more time together with our kids than parents who work outside the home. Sure, we’re not always playing board games or reading stories with the kids, but the fact that we’re accessible and home with them should help us feel less guilt when we’re concentrating on work, shouldn’t it? For me, I sometimes get a pang of guilt when I am trying to squeeze out just one more article or something and I have to tell my kids to go play for a little while so mommy can work…

In France, according to Kathy’s review of Judith’s book – moms just don’t experience this kind of guilt. They feel going off to work sets a good example for their children, that taking time for yourself and time with your spouse (without the kids) is necessary and helps you live a balanced life, and they actually feel that US moms are somewhat obsessive and… maybe a bit weird to experience so much guilt around how we raise our children.

I’ve often wondered why I feel guilty sometimes – enjoying a few hours without the kids here or there. Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I don’t deserve some time to my own thoughts, or to enjoy some peace and quiet! On the surface, I completely understand this and yet can’t seem to push the guilt away 100%.

Perhaps I need to take some tips from our mom friends in France… how about you?